Here’s a useless intro. The architecture faculty in my university has seven majors. Architecture, interior architecture, landscape architecture, urban architecture, industrial design, international program architecture and design (after graduation still cannot become an architect. Train kids to become designers with an architect mindset.), and international program communication design (I don’t know why it’s here and not in CommArts but um ok, architect mindset.) End of useless intro blehblehehbhbh.

This is the content. I’m majoring in architecture. My two friends are in interior. These two had been my close friends since I was 8 and I have no other practical friends. Three of us made more architecture major acquaintances during the first semester by accidentally hanging out with them. (WHY??????? I DON’T KNOW.) We have all classes together (except gen-ed and free elective.) But in the future, other majors will leave. Which means I will no longer meet my interior friends.

This is the now don’t get me wrong part so here goes. Now don’t get me wrong, I can be alone. I actually prefer being alone to being with others for no reason. I’d feel extremely blessed by all gods in all religions if I can get to be alone. With only a little bit of well-intended social interactions from classmates (which is already happening regularly) my life would be perfect. Ok here’s the but. BUT I have all the architecture major acquaintances that we made during the time we (me and two friends) had each other to talk to. With acquaintances I walk to class and have lunch and have dinner and take power naps and hang out at game center playing DDR. I guess from everyone’s perspective, I’m part of this group, although I rarely talk to any of the acquaintances. I never thought this would be a problem because I was very used to having my two friends, whose names are Bambi and LT uuugggh I don’t wanna keep saying two friends this, two friends that anymore so I’ll say Bambi and LT from now on. Yeah continue. Blah blah the point is, in the future after Bambi and LT left, I’M STUCK ALONE WITH ACQUAINTANCES. (Gotta capitalize the complaint because I’m forever a whiny teenage girl.)

I could just distance myself away and become a loner, just like the way it was supposed to be in the first place. I could, but that’s not gonna happen, because they are so nice to me and didn’t do anything wrong. Well some of them are assholes but that’s the good part about them. That’s reason we accidentally came together. We’re assholes and we know it (don’t think of the song Oo0o0mg too late) not like a bunch of hipster assholes with zero self-awareness here. Anyways this post is getting nowhere.

In conclusion, I’m just unfitting in my own life. Wait that doesn’t make sense.

…

After thinking for a while there’s two imaginary problems here not including me being an asshole. First, I have a hard time being with people. Second, I can’t stand making people think I don’t like them when I’m okay with them. And I don’t want to stay and make them bother tolerating my permanent sullen face and my awkward silence and my awkward fucking life. And I can’t just say hey it’s not your fault it’s just difficult for me to be with so many people and then leave, because surely even assholes are going to wonder if they did something wrong no matter how much I insist it’s my being an idiot. Hell if someone say that to me I’d think I’m a drag too. Wooooo so many low-intelligence thoughts.

Damn it. It’s only times like these that I give a fuck about social problems in my life. By “times like these” I mean when I’m on the computer while procrastinating a giant studio work. When I’m at school (Not sure if can replace word “college” with “school” but want to say school) my brain doesn’t run. I sometimes skip lunch because I don’t know what to order. I’d notice I’m making myself hate myself after mindlessly carrying on with life as I let it be. Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah too long but you read. Have a nice day! I want to say Merry Christmas & Happy New Year. (Mindlessly.)

P.S. If the post office lost my letter I will commit crime. *aims cursor at download button of copyrighted music on mediafire*

P.P.S. 2012 in B.E., the official year we use in my country, is 2555 B.E. and “555” reads “hahaha” and is a chat language. I’m thrilled to see how many variations of commercial uses of 2555 will pop up. No not really. Just kidding. I know we’re better than that. 555555555. Stop. I can’t write English anymore aarrgh. This is difficult.